Back to the US of A

So I have now returned back to the states after six months of living in Chile. When I first arrived, I felt like December 19 would never arrive, but now that the date has come and gone, I have deep feelings regarding my departure from Santiago. I have had to move many times before and I am accustomed to saying goodbyes. Nonetheless, in the past I have felt ready to move on to new opportunities--that is to say, ready to say move forward to something new. Being in Santiago though, I definitely did not feel that way which made saying goodbye so much more difficult. It is such an awkward time to be leaving: I was not there long enough to feel like I really made an impact or established myself in the city. I just recently felt like I got to a point where I had a nice social networks of friends and peers. Only recently have I had more confidence which has allowed me to relax a bit regarding speaking Spanish--although I definitely could use a lot more time to polish my skills off even more. All in all, I have a sense that I did not accomplish everything that I would have wanted to in order to feel like it was my time to move on, again, to other opportunities. Who knows, as my departure date crawled closer, my consciousness of it grew greater and I think it provoked me to try and spend as much quality time with those I care for--something emotionally silly to do because it just made it that much more difficult to leave. Sadly, since I spent so much time working on graduate school applications (which, by the way are done, just waiting to start hearing from schools next month), I think I spent a lot of time looking forward rather than living in the moment... So, now I am left to reflect on my time there and hope that I return soon. For my first several months in Chile I was not really convinced that it was the country for me... I mean, living in a new place, it is easy to fantasize about whether or not it is a place I could possible spend my life living. However, in my final two months I reaffirmed to myself a very important reality of my life: the place I live is just the place I live--what makes it special are the people with whom I share my life. At this moment in time I have so many people that I care about in Santiago that I would move back in a heartbeat (although there are of course countless people in the states that I would do the same for, and am excited to see again now that I am home). Knowing myself, and having experienced the same in the past, I know that I will move past this... and the emotions will fade, the desire to go back immediately will release its hold on me, and I will continue on to other great things. So, what is it that I will miss, and what am I glad to be done with?

THINGS I MISS

TranSantiago. The metro and bus system in the city is great and I am going to feel weird having to drive myself around again.

AfterOffice. This is a great party-club atmosphere that is done every Wednesday night with around 1,500 guests. During my final months in Santiago, by coincidence I because dear friends with the organizer and several of his friends. The party was great, but what kept me going week after week were the people I befriended... and maybe just a tiny bit, the free drinks and top VIP access I was continually showered with ;) I have joked around with friends that it will be hard going back to my none-celebrity lifestyle in Colorado!

Politics. As some of you may recall, politics was quite an uneasy topic for me in Chile, but now I really enjoy the topic and feel like I understand it quite well.

Café Concepto. A block away from the apartment was a café that I visited several times a week, for hours at a time, where I knew the baristas well and felt like home. On top of that, I was even able to get work done there!

Travel. Being abroad is a great excuse to travel as much as possible, and although I did not feel like I wanted to travel ALL of the time (I do enjoy being home and having down time), I did thoroughly enjoy how easy it was the travel around the area and enjoy what Chile had to offer.

Drop-in visits. It was so easy to just call up a friend and hang out or do something since everyone was nearby and transportation was so easy.

Speaking Spanish. Although I always complained about Chilean Spanish... I do miss speaking it and hearing it around me. I think I was finally getting to a point where I was absorbing a lot of new vocabulary. I need to find a way to keep using it...

Santiago. I really enjoyed being in a big city. From all of the cultural opportunities around me, to the hustle and bustle of city life--I miss being around it all. It is funny for me to drive around the Boulder area and have, well, empty space everywhere.

Fresh fruits and veggies. It was so easy and cheap to eat tons of great produce. Strawberries, grapes, tomatoes, avocado, the list goes on. Now it is back the the same old stuff... apples, bananas, and oranges.

THINGS I'M FINE NOT SEEING AGAIN

Stray dogs. It is a running joke among many that you know you have arrived in Chile if you see stray dogs on the street. Maybe it is that I am not much of a dog lover, or maybe it is that I am too worried about the fact that the dogs probably need a bath, but I did not have much of an issue leaving the dogs behind (although I am excited to see our dog Bailey!).

The door man. The guy that worked as our doorman during the day always did well to make me feel unwelcome to return back to the building. Just like many people probably would say I do well, he gave me some of the most unwelcoming and accusing looks that I received during my time. Thanks buddy!

PDI. La policía de investigaciones, who are responsible for passport control and customs at the airport were always guaranteed to make me feel like a failure at life every time we had the pleasure of encountering one another. During my recent disembarkation from Santiago, the agent felt it was her responsibility to correct my behavior when I apparently tossed my chilean ID card at her when she asked for it. I was informed that Chileans know better than to engage in such a behavior and that I should learn the same. The only behavior I engaged in at that point was the type in which I held my tongue-- because God knows that woman is not my mother!