I'm Still Alive, I Promise!

Wow... I have not written on the blog in a week and a half... oops! What to say? I feel like I have not written in so long that I need to answer the question of, "how's everything going?" The only issue with that is, it is always the hardest question to answer. Normally, the set response is, "Things are going well... I have been in class for a month, have written two essays already, have been making a lot of great friends, and my Spanish seems to be getting a lot better." Let's see... that's 36 words to describe my entire experience of uprooting my life, moving to a different country, and starting from scratch. Seems pretty simplistic for something so drastic! I'll break it down in a very organized way (AKA the German way) to sift through what's gone down.

SCHOOL LIFE

It has been really nice to stay on top of everything so well for class. I cannot say this enough, but having done one course at a time before, I seriously get my work done so quickly and early. I suppose the fact that I am only taking three classes also contributes to the fact that I have not had an overwhelming amount of work to do. I will note that yesterday, my professor for my history and culture class randomly decided that we needed to finish a 400 page book by next Tuesday... a book that he has previously told us to casually read. One thing that has caught my attention with class is the amount of time that is literally wasted doing nothing related to learning in any way. For example, recently in my culture class we literally spent 45 minutes of the 90 minutes in class listening to the professor talk about the most random stuff. Similarly, on Monday in my psychology class the first 30 minutes of the 3 hour class were spent chatting.

SOCIAL LIFE

I definitely have been having a nice time with friends lately. My friend Niels from Germany turned 25 last weekend, so like 25 people got together to celebrate with him. (Now, I will note that we got together at my friend Fred's hostal, where he has now lived for 6 weeks... he has become really good friends with the people that work there and I doubt he will ever leave... I told him I am just going to start referring to the place as his home. The other night I went over there, cooked dinner and did his sewing--seems pretty home-y to me!). Sunday night I went to my third salsa lesson, which is getting popular with my group of friends. It went really really well. I am now at the point where I have enough trucos up my sleeve to readily do different figuras without having to think extremely hard at doing so, meaning that it all comes together much more naturally. Sometimes I still get overwhelmed and lose count which basically means that I do not mark the time and get sloppy! Last night I went out to a concert of a Chilean friend. It was really fun, although the music was different than what I normally listen to (it was in English, and I would describe it as something like The Killers), meaning that I had no clue how to jam out to it!

LOVE LIFE

If you read that and honestly thought was going somewhere, the joke's on you! Who knows the last time I dated... ha.

CORNELL LIFE

It has been pretty weird for me to know that New Student Orientation is starting up on campus and I am not there. I mean, trust me, I know that somehow they are managing to continue on without me, it just feels weird because I have been pretty involved during the past two years with it. On top of that, it is always such a fun time on campus and I feel like I am totally missing out. There have been a couple of times I have felt lonely about not being there as the school year starts off because I still have a lot of good friends on campus, but such is life. On the psychology front, my research professor and I submitted a research manuscript to the Journal of Counseling Psychology to be peer-reviewed. This is a big deal for me because I lead the research project and am first author on it. I am sure that it will be a long road to getting the paper published, but it's a start!

GRADUATE SCHOOL LIFE

Again, if you read this and thought that it was going somewhere... you were right to think it was, but the joke is still on you! I have gotten pretty lazy with my grad school applications. Luckily, before I left I had to get everything in order, so I would say I am 3/4 of the way done. However, it still remains that I need to write my 14 personal statements and applications to the individual programs. This will be a lot, but luckily I can use the same base-essay for each, and the applications are pretty basic and I have already started many of them.

SPANISH SPEAKING LIFE

I have come to the conclusion that trying to fully immerse yourself into a Spanish speaking culture is really difficult. I have realized three major set-backs: 1.) Everyone speaks English! Even if I want to escape it, there are so many people that speak it, that it is easy to ask how to say something in Spanish rather than have to use Spanish to describe the word that I lack. In addition, many people just straight up want to speak English with me. 2.) A lot of my friends are international students, and although they do not necessarily have English as their primary language, they speak it quite well, meaning that sometimes we slip into English (although I really try hard not to!). I have been meeting more people that are Chilean which is good, because that gives me to opportunity to have casual conversation in Spanish and learn from what they are saying to me. 3.) Technology. Oh my goodness I think this is the one that has been the most debilitating. I mean, it is so easy for me to be able to have epic phone conversations on Skype in English, it is easy for me to read the news in English, and the listen to English podcasts. I have intentionally tried to limit some of that exposure, but it is hard to do when it is so readily available. I mean, I would have to be a pretty big tool to just tell friends and family to forget about talking to me which I was here! Really though, I think the only way that I will ever be fully immersed is if I move to the middle of nowhere in a small indigenous town that is not accessible by anything besides a llama a some type of charm to scare off the chupacabra.

BLOG LIFE

Finally, it is revived!

It's Normal

I have been here for a month and a half now, and there are a lot of things that have become commonplace to me. A few days back, I started to think about all of the things that are now normal to me, that before definitely caught my attention.

It's normal to see people selling things on the streets. Sometimes I wonder where they get the items they sell, and how they possibly can profit by charging so little.

It's normal to see stray dogs on the street. They have better street smarts than I do.

It's normal to eat avocado on everything that is served to me here. I have taken to enjoy it very much, although I still have not been won over by the mayonnaise that people try to feed me.

It's normal to go out dancing on Wednesday night. Luckily, I do not have class until 12 the next day so I still get enough sleep.

It's normal to make food knowing that I will be the only one that will enjoy it. I guess it is also normal for me to eat alone at a restaurant; I do so every martes and jueves between classes.

It's normal to pick up on what people are talking about around me when I am in public. Before, I was pretty sure they were speaking Chinese.

It's normal to make my bed in the morning. I have never been good at doing so, but here I feel like I need to keep everything tidy.

It's normal to eat meals that lack meat since one of my friends is a vegetarian here. I have even started to intentionally buy things at the store tailored to her "lifestyle."

It's normal to use the metro, buses, and taxis to get around. Luckily, the transportation network here rocks.

It's normal to take three classes at a time rather than just taking one. Actually, I feel like I am retaining the material better than I thought I would!

It's normal to start my morning listening to the NPR News Update podcast. This way, I feel like I still have somewhat of an idea of what is going on in the world.

It's normal to shave only once every two or three days. Looks like I have gotten pretty lazy.

It's normal when things are not normal.

Nuestro Escritor Caliente

Again, no, the title is not referring to me! Today I was in class and the professor said, "¿Hay más comentarios sobre nuestro escritor caliente?" and my jaw dropped. For those of you needing a Spanish lesson, the translation: "Are there any more comments about our horny writer?" I know, not what you are expecting to hear from the professor in class, right? Some of you may recall that when using the word caliente it typically is used referring to heat, although if you want to say that someone is physically warm from the heat, it is best to use tener calor (To have heat) because saying estar caliente means to be horny, hot, aroused, etc, whatever suits your fancy! As it turns out, our author, Pablo Neruda, was in fact horny and not warm. Part of the reason why I enjoyed her saying this is because it has a religions ring to it, like when I lived in México and they would refer to Nuestro Señora Guadalupe or Nuestro Salvador Jesús. I particularly enjoy the religious reference made in my culture class today when the professor said, "todos suspenden una virgen por el espejo en su coche" meant to say, "Everyone hangs a Virgin Mary from their rearview mirror in the car," but I got much more of a kick from the interpretation, "Everyone hangs a virgin from their rearview mirror in the car." Oh what joys...

I have been quite the busy bee lately getting all of my homework done. This is very new for me, to have the time to do homework and not worry about anything else on my plate! What has come of me? I have actually enjoyed delving into some of this work because it really interests me, and I am praying that I will maintain this same stamina going through graduate school (ojalá), well, let alone the rest of this semester! Today I had two classes, and I get more and more frustrated with the US students in my classes--I can speak English well enough to take a break from using it, and it would be great if they could help me out and speak in Spanish! One thing that I recently have been getting a little nervous about is that, the more Spanish I learn, the more I feel like I know very little about speaking it. I suppose I still have 4.5 months, but my biggest fear right now is that I will not be fluent when I leave, and now is the time get it done! Really, I should not be writing this in English, I should not be chatting in English, and I definitely should not be using words in English when I cannot remember how to say them in Spanish, but... unless you are ready to speak with me in Spanish, were out of luck! I have been trying to incorporate more Spanish listening into my day by downloading a Spanish news podcast to listen to. I am also trying to catch myself when I try to formulate thoughts in English and translate them to Spanish, rather thing formulating my thoughts in Spanish structures. I am also hopeful that with the 11 essays that I will need to write this semester for my three classes (although remember, I have no tests), that this will get me thinking a lot about forming thoughts in Spanish. Maybe every once in a while I will translate a blog entry into Spanish.

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Otra vez, ¡el título no me refiere! Hoy día, estuve en la clase y la profesora dijo, “¿Hay más comentarios sobre nuestro escritor caliente?” y se cayó mi mandíbula. Para ustedes necesitando una clase de castellano, la traducción: “Are there any more comments about our horny writer?” Sé, no que alquien espera oír de la professora en clase, ¿cierto? Algunos de ustedes recordaran cuando alguien tiene calor, sea mejor decir to have heat porque decir to be hot significa estar caliente, excitado, ¡lo que quieras! Se hace, nuestro escritor, Pablo Neruda, estaba caliente de hecho y no tenía calor. Parte de la razón me disfruté lo que dijo la profesora es porque suena un poco religioso, como cuando vivía en méxico y se refirieron a Nuestro Señora Guadalupe o Nuestro Señor Jesús. En particular, disfrutí la referencia religiosa dicho por mi profesor hoy día en la clase, “todos suspenden una virgen por el espejo en su coche,” para decir, “todos suspenden una virgen (María) por el espejo en su coche,” pero prefiero la interpretación, “todos suspenden una virgen (en general) por el espejo en su coche.” Qué felicidad…

He ocupado recientemente haciendo toda de mi tarea. ¡Es algo nuevo para me, tener el tiempo para hacer la tarea sin preocuparme con otras cosas! ¿Qué me pasó? Actualmente, he disfrutado plantearme de partes de la tarea porque sí me interesa, y estoy rogando que mantendrá resistencia durante el postgrado (God willing), pues, ¡y mucho menos el resto del semestre! Hoy día hubo dos clases, y me pongo más y más frustrado con los estudiantes estadounidenses en mis clases—puedo hablar en ingles bastante bien para tomarme un descanso de usarlo, y sería excelente si ellos me ayudaran y hablaran castellano! Una cosa he puesto nervioso de es que, lo más castellano aprendo, lo más me siento como sé poco de hablar. Supongo que todavía tenga 4,5 meses, pero mi miedo más grande es que no seré fluente cuando salgo, ¡y ahora es la época hacerlo! Realmente, no debo escribir eso en ingles, no debo charlar en ingles, y definidamente no debo usar palabras en ingles cuando no los recuerdo en castellano, pero… a menos que estás listo hablar conmigo en castellano, ¡no tenemos suerte! He tratado incorporar más escuchando en castellano a mí día de manera de descargar un podcast de noticias españoles para escuchar. También, me controlo cuando me da cuenta que formulo pensamientos en ingles y traduzcolos a castellano, en vez de formular los pensamientos en estructuras castellanas. Espero que los 11 informes tenga que escribir este semestre para mis 3 cursos (acuérdate, no tengo examines), me fuerzan formar mis pensamientos en castellano. Quizá a veces traduciré un blog a castellano.

All Hail the Salsa King

Although I am sure that this is hard to believe, I am not the Salsa King who deserves everyone's undying love and showering of gifts. Salsa King is the man that dominates the dance floor, calling everyone's attention as he places a spell on the woman he has wooed into a dancing submission. Salsa King manipulates her body in a way that she did not realize she was capable, and although he is the one that deserves the attention, he humbly creates a space allowing his woman to receive all of the attention as he exhibits her on his salsa pedestal. As he is a ravenous man at heart, he moves onto his next maiden before his last partner even realizes what has happened unto her. And, although the women in the room anxiously watch the of Salsa King, they all wish that he will choose her to be his next woman to mystify. As you suspected, you are right, his hips don't lie when he starts to feel it's right.

Going salsa dancing last night was incredible! Although I have taken several salsa dancing classes in the past, I have never gone to a salsa club. I went with two friends from my program to a salsa festival that was organized with live bands. Oh man, I had a great time. Too bad, my ability to dance with a partner is pretty much non-existent because I am only capable of doing like 3 different steps and twirling my partner around in circles until she vomits. I am really interested in learning more salsa moves, especially because the man leads while dancing with a partner, and I basically suck at doing it. Nonetheless, it was so awesome to dance until 3 in the morning, although if I continue at this rate I will need a hip replacement surgery!

One day, one day, I will be the Salsa King.

Stuck in the '80s

Usually any discussion I have about the '80s stirs emotions of embarrassment and denial in both myself and the person with whom I am speaking, however, Chile never received the important memo that the '80s were done and officially disowned from the lives of millions. Here in Chile, the radio plays Brian Adams and the B-52s. Men strut down the street with pride as they sport their mullets, others with their rat tails--the elite have a combination of both. The fanny pack never was laid to rest and can be spotted at places ranging from the supermercado to the discoteca. Woman wear leggings that can only be described as utterly fabulous as they glow with sparkles and vibrant colors. And I am just going to say it because I cannot keep it in any longer: last night I met a woman wearing parachute pants! ¡Ya poh! Enough is enough! I cannot remember the word, but a friend from Germany told me that they have a word that encompasses the emotion of feeling embarrassment/ shame for someone else, well, that word is what I feel for this nation. Something is rotten in the state of Chile (raise your hand if you know this allusion)!

Well, whenever I manage to find time not consumed in agony of the '80s that fills my life, I try to do productive things with my life. Classes have been going pretty well, although, I am pretty tired of hearing all of the students from the states speaking English to one another in my literature class. These students are ones that traveled down to Chile as cohorts of students from specific universities, and I am pretty sure they just think they are in vacation. They come to class speaking English, are not prepared, do not participate and then look at the professor like she is inconveniencing them by holding class. It is great that they are taking the opportunity to experience a different culture, I guess I just have different purpose for my time compared to them.

I have fallen pretty stagnant in my interest of cooking as of recent. I think that it is because I am tired of making the same things for myself all of the time because I only cook for myself and never want to make anything overly complicated. Well, I think that I am going to try and buy a cookbook and see of I can't kick this kitchen-laziness and learn some local cuisine. I still do not know the name of any of the food that I eat when I am out, which makes me feel pretty dang incompetent!

And a few additional notes:

1.) The world for scarf in Spanish is bufanda. Whether or not you speak Spanish you can tell that is probably the most effeminate word there ever was, leading me to the sad conclusion that God only intended woman to wear scarves.

2.) The hot water did not work in the apartment from Monday through Friday evening. That being said, if you smelled something offensive last week if was probably me.

Lost in Thought and Lost in Translation

It looks like I am getting into a routine here now that I have my classes set and have been spending time with friends that I have met from the university. I am now trekking into my second week of classes and am ready to take on what the professors throw at me. Today, I had my second session of Psychosocial Trauma. The course was much different today than what I anticipated it would be like. We spent most of the class talking about social and political events that have taken place throughout history that have caused traumatic experiences for individuals. We also talked about events that cause trauma, although at a lesser degree, that give governing bodies the ability to exercise power and control over others. Normally I would find this topic very interesting and would find many areas to agree with. However, the class session ultimately spent more time discussing these events that happened, and the opinions of the professor about the political actions, rather than the effect these events psychologically had on those who were impacted. Before starting my courses, I was advised that I would likely come across this and I was adequately warmed, however, I was not prepared for the highly biased information that was being lectured. I do not mean to say that I feel the professor was poor-intentioned, I just was very surprised that the historical information that was being presented was saturated with information saturated with the professors personal beliefs, rather than beliefs that were informed by academic knowledge. I am so grateful for my ability to critically analyze the information that is presented to me, allowing me to consider the possible benefits and disadvantages of every given situation. I wonder if the native students posses the same ability to form their own opinions rather than take what is taught to them as pure fact, especially because I am told that it is common to professors here to be biased in the information they teach. I appreciate the importance of understanding historical backgrounds that have caused psychosocial traumas, however, after understand those backgrounds I am more interested in understanding the psychological and theoretical implications from the traumas that took place--at this point I feel we are lacking this information from class. As draining as this class experience was for me today, I am also grateful to see the perspectives of my professor because it is a starting point for me to explore the topics we discussed at a deeper level so that I can make an informed decision on what my stance is on the topic. The only thing I wish is to be able to express myself better in Spanish regarding what this experience was like for me, because it felt very stifling, hopeless, and lonely to sit with all of this and not adequately share these thoughts with others in the way I meant to.

Over the weekend I had a nice time. On Friday evening I went to the Symphonic Orchestra of the University of Chile and saw a very nice performance of three pieces, including the overture from The Magic Flute (this brought back great memories of seeing that opera performed in full while traveling in Madrid). After that I went with a friend and met some friends of his. Much later that night they decided they wanted to go out to a club, so we traveled to the other side of the city. Remember how I have said that one must be flexible when being living in a new country? Well, little did we know that we were being taken to an alternative club. My friend's reaction was priceless when he realized where we were. Nonetheless we had a great time and it was fun meeting some new Chileans! On Saturday I got a dose of Western culture as I went to a huge mall with a friend. Later that night a few friends came over and we made dinner together, had some great discussion, and enjoyed one another's company. Sunday was low key, as I spent hours revising my research paper that Professor Green and I are submitting for publication, followed by hours more of studying. And let me tell you, studying academic writing in Spanish is not a walk in the park! In fact, my translator lacks like half of the words I needed to find. Likewise, it has been driving me crazy that a lot of the new words I am learning in Spanish lack a corresponding word in English. For example, cronicidad seems to translate to, "a chronic state of being." Now I am searching for the Spanish words that mean, "Time to go to bed because it is past your bed time," and, "typos will be checked for later because right now I lack the energy and motivation to care."